Captain Sterno's

Top 10+ Reason's it's Better to have a Boat

(rather than a Girlfriend, Wife, Boyfriend, Husband, Significant Other, Etc.)

  1. You don't have to get Flowers, Chocolates, or anything else for your Boat on Valentines Day, Birthday's, Christmas, etc. You also don't have to take it out to dinner! (that'd be a little awkward.) Though they "do" appreciate new power tools, they don't care what day it is.

  2. You can go for a week without talking to your boat, and they won't get pissed off. At least I don't think mine does.

  3. Your boat will never leave you for another Captian, unless you really want it to go!

  4. Your boat will never tell you it doesn't want to have a relationship with it's self, much less anyone else, then dump you for no apparent reason. (there's ALWAYS a reason your boat dumps you, but it 'will' take you back, if you can just get back to it!)

  5. Your boat doesn't get jealous. (at least I don't think mine has yet)

  6. You NEVER have to listen to your boat complain. And if you do, you need more help than I can offer here.

  7. You can jump on your boat and go anytime you want. (As long as the neighbors aren't watching.;-) )

  8. Your boat is more forgiving for your past mistakes (though the weather may not be)

  9. You'll probably spend just as much money on your boat than you will on a "___________" (please fill in the blank)

  10. Your boat will love you, just as much as you think it does, no matter what. ;-)

  11. Your boat will stay with you as long as you want it. And getting rid of it is less expensive than a divorce.

  12. The Sheriff's Dept. won't really mind if you tie Cement bricks onto your boat and sink it to the bottom of you local lake. The EPA might, but the Sheriff shouldn't bother you about it.

  13. Your boat won't kick you out of your bed, or your house.

  14. It'll even caress your ego! {Oooohhhh, that feels Sooo Goood!} (Thanks to Ginni Marquez, my cousin, for this one, and the next couple...)

  15. Your boat will NEVER have a headache... ;-)

  16. There is not, at least to my knowledge, a "Mother-In-Law" attachment for your boat...

  17. Your Boat never has to worry about any pesky hormonal changes. [Therefore you don't have to DEAL with those, at least from your Boat] (Submitted by Teri Sessions, I can't take credit for this one! Thanx, Teri)

  18. Let's Face it, a Boat is MUCH easier to figure out and understand then a "___________________" (please fill in the blank, depending on your preference) It either floats, or it don't. [Thanks to Steve Picard for this suggestion]

  19. "____________________" (I'm always looking for more suggestions, so e-mail some to me!)

This list has been put together as a fairly tongue-in-cheek venture. I think. If you can think of any other reasons it's better to have a boat, let me know, I'd love to add it! Happy Boating!
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